Wk12 – Finding Balance
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I spent many years as a youth working on construction sites with my dad. Sadly, I lived in a day when pictures were not so easy to obtain, so this is not a picture of a house my dad built.
But it does give you an idea about what it’s like to put trusses up for the roof. Those triangular pieces form the skeleton for the top of the house. The way we put them in place was for my dad to hold the truss in one place, my brother to hold in a second, and me in a third, then all three of us would walk together along the top of a stud-framed wall to the position for that truss. We needed balance. When one of us wobbled, the other two could feel it. With sensitivity we could feel through the truss when one person was leaning and instinctively make balance adjustments for the error. My father was much heavier and better practiced at this activity, and he was like an anchor for the two of his children when they, in their inexperience, leaned too far one way or the other. The three of us made two houses one summer and, thankfully, nobody ever fell off the roof.
This is not unlike the balance needed for a husband and wife as they learn to rule their kingdoms- you know, like the Province of Checkbook Balance, the Land of the Laundry, the Gulf of Dish-Doing, not to mention managing the inevitable uprising of peasantry at bedtime.
Like balancing a truss into place, a husband and wife precariously build a union one piece at a time. President Eyring taught, “He (Christ) made clear how the gospel of Jesus Christ can allow hearts to be made one. Those who would believe the truth He taught could accept the ordinances and the covenants offered by His authorized servants. Then, through obedience to those ordinances and covenants, their natures would be changed. The Savior’s Atonement in that way makes it possible for us to be sanctified. We can then live in unity, as we must to have peace in this life and to dwell with the Father and His Son in eternity.”
My father warned us about the dangers of setting trusses before we went out on the top of the framed house. And then, if he saw that we needed more instruction as we went along, he made sure to keep warning us. President Eyring also gave a warning about the dangers we are facing as we strive to create unity in our marriages and homes. He warned us of pride and of speaking ill of those with whom we are connected. He counselled us to be sure to keep the commandments, and qualify for the presence of the Holy Ghost. We also need to hold the truss at the same height. Like equally yoked oxen, the burden is carried best when two make a similar contribution. The truss goes into place at both ends at the same time.
It’s no simple thing building a house. I’ve heard many stories of people breaking or losing body parts, even dying because of small mistakes. Building an eternal companionship is not only a more difficult and complicated project, the stakes are higher, and failure will have eternal consequences. This balancing act is amazing, and dangerous.
I feel the danger in my own marriage. I wobble. He wobbles. If I spend my time reacting to my husband’s wobble I’ll fall. If I focus instead on my Savior and learn to balance from Him, I’ll be steadied. His balance is sure. I’m grateful for the continuing instruction I get through revelation and through the words of God’s prophets so that I can maintain balance in this dangerous, but worthy project of building unity in my marriage.