Wk13 – Going My Way?
Category : Uncategorized
In the assigned reading this week author Bernard Poduska in his book Til Debt Do Us Part wrote about family rules, especially as they pertain to money management with newly formed family units. My mother was always the budget keeper in the family. To this day, we all know that if we make a purchase for mom, you keep the receipt because she will want it! My husbands family was more the hand-to-mouth style of financial planning. The moment they had money, they found something to do with it before it burned a hole in their pocket! When we got married, my husband and I both knew that having a budget and having self-control was a better way, and so far we have lived frugally and within our means.
Poduska also wrote about the significance of birth order and how oldest children vs youngest children deal with finances. My husband and I are both eldest children from large families. I read through the part of this book about the statistics of money management for the eldest children, second children, middle children and youngest children and conceded a definite reflection of truth, though not complete accuracy in our families. Poduska reported that eldest children had the inclination to be controlling and strict with money. While I can’t deny that we are frugal with our income, I’m glad we haven’t got what the author referred to as “an exaggerated need for control.” His suggestions for those who have a problem in this area are:
1. Bring financial matters into open discussion. As a family we discuss our money issues openly. The children know when and why money is tight.
2. Develop a financial management plan to enable all members of the family to have a say in the budget. Though I teach my children not to discuss the matter with other people, in our home any one may see the budget and balance at any time.
3. Give each member an allowance. We have tried to do this in our home several times and for us it has never worked in a dependable weekly set amount. Instead, any one who has either a want or a need is free to approach the subject of budget with requests. Anything from needed clothing items to the newest cool song they just heard from a friend, if it fits in the budget, it can be purchased.
Reading this weeks assignments and learning about money management types and trends was helpful to my husband and me. We got to evaluate what we were doing right and wrong and have productive conversation which influenced a change in a few things we were not doing well, and helped us feel good about the positive habits we had already created.
The best part about our conversations about our finances was that we recognized that we two had not adopted the totalitarian budget-keeping of my mother, nor the empty-pocketed propensity of his father. We truly had created a balance all of our own that, while not perfect, reflects our unique combined style and identity as a couple.