14 – Pain first, then Joy
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There are few things that astonish me greater in the world than to meet a human being who hasn’t seen The Princess Bride. It’s.. it’s… Inconceivable!
It may very well be the most quoted movie, at least in my family. Whether we are telling someone to do it Gently! or suggesting they give us a paper cut and pour lemon juice on it, there are so many situations in life that are reflected by the subtle irony portrayed in this film.
Today I’m hearing one such line in my head. “Life is pain highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”
My final week in psychology was dedicated to the concept of death. They taught us three terms to define the different aspects of death. Bereavement was the term used to impartially refer to the condition a person is in when someone close to them dies. Grief, obviously, was the feeling that was expected to come because of bereavement. Then mourning was the custom performed to signify that grief and bereavement. I have not yet experienced the kind of bereavement in my life which leads to significant grief or mourning, at least in this sense. So why was is so hard to read that chapter? Why did I feel grief so acutely during this last week? Why was I in pain and what was I mourning?
Jordan Peterson is a psychologist, author, and public speaker that I admire. His messages often focus on finding meaning in one’s life through sacrifice and by intentionally easing misery around us. I hear many such meaningful and good things from Dr Peterson, but he himself deals with crippling depression. I want joy in this life. How can I find it when life feels so meaningless?
In 2 Nephi 2:23 Lehi said that without opposition we “would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for (we) knew no misery; doing no good, for (we) knew no sin.”
I believe that. It makes sense. If I had nothing but ice cream to eat every day, would it be a treat? Would I even like it? Of course not! I’m glad that I have understanding of suffering, loneliness, fear, fatigue, sickness, and misery. If I didn’t know how bad it life can be, how can I appreciate how good life can be?
So why can’t I feel the joy that I think I should have considering my knowledge? If I have to know the evil in order to know the good, does that mean that sometimes I have to be miserable, maybe for an extended amount of time before I can experience Joy?
David A Bednar taught that the Savior is the only source of enduring joy. The prophet Jacob said “The righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed in the Holy One of Israel, they who have endured the crosses of the world, and despised the shame of it, they shall inherit the kingdom of God, which was prepared for them from the foundation of the world, and their joy shall be full forever.” Alma also thought that we should have joy in this journey when he said, “…this because of the power of (Christs’) word which is in us, therefore have we not great reason to rejoice?… Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever”
So, somehow I am supposed to feel this great joy primarily because of the promises given by virtue of the Good News, or gospel of Jesus Christ. Why then does my heart fail me? I don’t know. But as Jacob taught, I will continue to endure the cross of this world and hope for joy to come in the morning.