Wk3 – Finding Common Ground
Category : Uncategorized
Same-Sex Attraction: How Can We Find Common Ground?
When aliens are making first contact with the humans of earth, a common fictitious theme is that communication is brought down to a most basic element. One representation I saw utilized prime numbers. Another story suggested the foundational dialogue should begin with the elements on the periodic table. In each case, it was recognized by the authors that when two beings are very different, finding a commonality is the best hope for establishing real communication and eventually a trusting relationship.
Then of course, some aliens want to suck the earth dry or eat your brains and don’t care what your name is.
How do we find common ground with people who call evil good and good evil? How do we live peaceably with humans who don’t recognize one of the most basic units in the history of humankind? It’s almost like dealing with aliens. And, how do we know if they are friendly aliens or eat-your-face aliens? How should we respond when ulterior motives are exposed?
These questions might be a central theme for my choice to study psychology. I hope I find good answers as my education continues.
The first time I wanted to understand these “aliens,” I was 13. I was watching a science special about birth defects and learned about hermaphrodites. I felt deep compassion for a poor child born with uncertain genitalia, who’s doctor made the decision to surgically decide which gender the baby was without medical need. That poor little boy grew up named Susan, wearing dresses, and not knowing what was wrong with him. He was in his 30’s when he learned the truth of his birth, and had a surgical procedure done to reverse his gender, changed his name, married a woman and lived happily as a man the rest of his life.
Was this wrong? Hard question. I think when considering the definition of marriage and the rights of humans to choose their sexual partners, we have a micro problem and a macro problem.
First the micro problem. Being related to several people who have gone through same-sex attraction, I have some insight into their confusing world. The physical desire for connection is referred to with strong words like primal, imperative, instinct, need, and drive. While no living creature needs sexual intimacy to live, it might be said that human intimacy (of many sorts, not just sexual) is what makes living worthwhile. Years ago a lesbian woman, angry at me for spurning her advances, asked me with incredulity in her voice, “how can it be wrong to love someone?” As surely as a child wants a friend, and adult will want a partner. What happens when for whatever reason, an adult wants a partner who is of the same gender? How can it be wrong to “love” someone?
Clever question to misdirect, but the question isn’t about loving others, the question is about biological passions that belong to reproduction. What is being ignored is the long-term effects of changing the format of the basic unit of society. Is the temporary “love” of sexual relationships more important than the stability of the human family?
If a person developed an insatiable appetite for dirt, car grease, or couch cushions, it would be reasonably supposed that they had a problem. Perhaps their diet was seriously lacking in nutrition, perhaps it was psychosis; many brain dysfunctions are not yet understood. Yet some people develop pica, or a craving, for substances not meant to be eaten. Should the FDA respect those people and ask for couches to be sold with a list of ingredients and nutrition information? Yet this is very much like what was suggested in the article The Overhauling of Straight America by authors Kirk and Pill. With cunning and deceit they planned the corruption of the public. Manipulating rather than discussing, they crafted a many decades long plan to put the “couch cushions” of human relationships into the American “diet” of human connection.
The quest of sexual “equality” is often likened to civil rights for minorities and women. That is where we find the macro problem. But are these “champions” of sexual rights peacefully protesting, or are they infiltrating? If it was a scifi about aliens from another world, the underhanded tactics discussed in the above mentioned article would suggest a nefarious plot.
A part of the solution is the same solution that would have prevented the rampant out-of-wedlock childrearing of the past few decades. Celibacy IS an option! Healthy humans are social creatures. We need connection to live happily. But we don’t need sexual connection. It is the sexually obsessed culture that leads us to believe that consuming other humans sexually is the way to happiness. It’s just not so. Platonic connections are a viable option!
Is it easy? No.
To offer healthy, platonic connections with those who have a craving for “couch cushion” lifestyles is potentially to heal their brokenness.
To call same-sex attraction the dysfunction that is it, with love and understanding, and not disgust or condemnation, is probably the best thing we can do. It is not simply another taste, as Kirk and Pill would have us believe. Couch cushions are not food, same-sex attraction is not healthy or normal. Celibacy is always possible, in the teen years and in adulthood.
The “aliens” we live with are our brothers and sisters, and they want to be a part of the community. Let’s find common ground!
And protect our couches from being eaten.